Expect More. Pay Less.

Last night, in a very normal telephone conversation, a slew of words came flying out of my mouth; unbeknownst to me, the words carried a lot of weight. Although I said them in a very matter-of-fact manner, with each syllable I realized I meant what I said much more than I knew. As the final word was fired, I instantly felt how loaded the statement was:

"Show me something different, then maybe I'll believe something different..." 

I keep hearing the same words while being shown the same mismatched actions, and it's expected of me to just "understand" and "accept" it. But I will not and I am proud of myself for that.

"Show me something different, then maybe I'll believe something different; maybe I'll believe what you say..." 

It's such a simple request that I once didn't have the courage to express, thinking I would come across demanding or controlling or like a difficult to please "angry Black woman." But I'm becoming strong enough and confident enough to recognize that I can have standards and basic expectations. I don't HAVE to downplay the magnitude of what I know I deserve from a person or a situation just to make someone else comfortable. And neither do you. I don't have to be brash and blunt, but I can definitely plant myself firmly in what I know I'm worthy of . And so can you.

The bare minimum has become the standard for so many people, but you don't have to be okay with that. Stop letting people's words and intentions and promises be IT for you; you deserve so much more. You are worthy.  You are more than worthy. A person can tell you how he/she feels until there are no more words left to describe their feelings, and then what? That can't be all there is.

Don't be fooled by the whole, "you must be special because I don't usually care this much" crap. It's crap. Just because it takes effort for someone to be caring and respectful and kind IN GENERAL doesn't mean you're "special" when he/she is caring, respectful, or kind to you. So, that person calls you sometimes just to casually see what's up with you; that's supposed to mean, "I like you and I want to get to know on a more intimate level"? Yeah, that person sends you "good morning" texts occasionally; just that is supposed to magically mean, "You're special to me"? When a person is truly interested, he/she has no qualms about openly expressing and showing said interest.

Don't settle for being just better than someone's worst or just above a person's inadequacies. You come out of the womb deserving the basic respect and kindness a human being should have towards another human being, FOR FREE. If a person tells you their feelings for you extend beyond basic humaneness, it's okay to want to receive more than a basic show of effort.

"Show me something different, then maybe I'll believe something different; maybe I'll believe what you say you feel for me."